Dealing With Failure

Time To Get Realistic

Life isn't easy! How many times are we told this? But you will never be told a wiser remark. Facing life and all its challenges is setting yourself up for failure at some time or another, but at some point along the way you will be making small incredible, (even un-noticeable) achievements.

Dwelling on what goes wrong rather than what has gone right is the most common thought pattern. We all know how difficult and frustrating a serious hobby can be, such as creating our own Music. Some people are more used to taking knocks and set-backs in their life and cope with them amicably, others vent anger, become depressed, and just can't seem to cope at all.

How To Cope With Disappointment

Part of the way you cope and manage in life is inherent in your biologial make-up as well as your attitude towards what goes on around you. By this I mean you are already going to react in some definable way to something negative or positive without first realising it.

Take my very first gig as an example. I've already mentioned somewhere in my articles that it was the most frightening experience 'ever'. I believe I had little confidence in my ability, and also the lack of experience already set my mind up for disappointment. What emerged that night long ago, was a frightened girl trying hard to appear professional on a stage, and only just pulling it off. But I wished I had done so much better! How did I deal with my wreck of emotions? Not very well at first, but then I allowed myself to accept that I was and had to do a FIRST gig in order to get to the point where I had done two hundred.

By accepting it for what it was, and doing nothing but my best, (no matter how good or bad my best was at the time), I was freeing myself from disappointme nt and learning to survive and cope with it. What I'm saying is you have to learn to allow yourself to accept your degree of experience or inexperience and go with the flow of what is happening to you inside and out, then learn from it without beating yourself up!

The Bad Things Always Happen To Me

No. They don't. They happen to everyone. Someone, somewhere, guaranteed, will be suffering or have suffered something you have and much worse besides. It's only in our minds and in our little worlds the unpleasant events are emphasized to a greater proportion. Another person can always see a solution to other's problems because they are distanced from the pain and able to evaluate the situation more clearly. In reality, setting yourself up for disappointment and failure is most often achieved by being unrealistic, and trying to produce satisfactory results before your able to do so. You need to take the time necessary to learn about what you want to achieve by moving t hrough those learning curves at a reasonable pace and jumping over the pitfalls along the way. Not expecting miracles is probably the only way to stumble over one. But importantly, not giving up is the key, as well as being determined not to allow negativity take over your mind.

I know Musicians who have given up making Music altogether. Why? Because they are no longer interested? Because it's too hard? Or because they are afraid of wasting their time and getting nowhere? Maybe a little of all of those things, but usually because deep inside they lack confidence and the fact that they know the world is teeming with talented souls all scr ambling up the same ladder to achieve the very same thing. Recognition! Satisfaction! Pleasure! Where does pure 'enjoyment' fit into the equation?

Wouldn't life be so great if you pressed a single button, which gave you a fabulous song, sent it to a label and whoa baby, you're famous all within a couple of months. No fuss, no hassle, just payback for that single press of a button. I'm not kidding here but what have you really achieved? So it's not always about the outcome is it? It's more about the sweat and tears it took to get you there.

What Is Achievement?

Measured in different ways by different cultures all over the planet. In some cultures achievement is simply finding enough food to feed a family for a day. Most of us in the West wouldn't think twice about this as an achievement, but it's definately a large one for some people! Let me reiterate, achievement isn't necessarily appearing on MTV or becoming famous world-wide. Actually, study the famous w orld-wide! Their lives are always full of heartache and pain and they are supposed to be living 'The Ultimate Dream'? How is it then that the 'successful' have been driven to suicide, drug and alcohol abuse, endless relationship problems when they have everything? We can't imagine why their so 'unhappy' when they have 'everything' they want! This only goes to prove happiness is not really measured in financial terms, the illusion that a grand lifestyle and fame can heighten your perception of true happiness is only that, an illusion. We were not born with diamond rings and Ferrari's. They will not sustain us. Don't confuse materialistic pleasures with the real thing!

Achievements can be and often are small and simple. Expressing yourself in a format you enjoy, and learning something new is in itself an achievement of your heart and mind. Achievement is making someone else across the pond smile because your song sounds so great to them, even if 'Virgin Records' dumped i t in their bin! It's saving enough money to buy something in your Musical collection which gives you pleasure and in turn pleasure to others. It's caring for someone you love and watching them grow and be a better person because of your love. You are always giving something to the world without realising it. It doesn't have to be an ego the size of planet Mars or a pocket full of cash at all times. You can just give your true 'self' and be proud of what you are and what you believe in, and small miracles will find you.

Carla Acheson is a Musician, and freelance writer for a variety of subjects, mainly the independent Music industry. She is the Director of Independent Record Label http://www.melodrift.com, and the Assistant Editor for news site http://www.indienewslive.com.

Author:: Carla Acheson
Keywords:: Music, Music promotion, independent Music, indie Music,
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